It’s difficult to talk about grief without ‘filling up’. A lump comes to our throat and for many of us tears soon follow.
I don’t mind. I think its natural, even healthy on occasions.
Tears are an overflow of emotion and emotions are an indication we’re still alive so that’s a positive start. As infants we wail when a favourite toy is lost or broken, a young person blinks back tears if they fail their driving test, an adult when they’re made redundant.
Emotions can be very mixed and very powerful. We shed tears of joy when our team wins a trophy, tears of pride at our child’s graduation, tears of pain when someone we trusted hurts us deeply, tears of sorrow when we have to say goodbye to someone we love. Maybe a relationship gets tense or breaks up, maybe someone moves far away, maybe a friend or family member passes away.
But here’s a thing. It only hurts because we’ve been blessed with hearts that care, that long for and appreciate love. Our lives have been enriched. We’ve known something good. Our eyes brim over with happiness when we realise we are loved and again in grief when we lose someone precious.
It breaks our hearts to say goodbye but only because those same hearts are filled with wonderful memories of good times shared. An elderly person lays their partner to rest, remembering days a lifetime ago when they walked the beach hand in hand, bought their first home or celebrated their first child. They are grateful for a lifetime together, keeping their covenant promise ‘for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health…’
One of the bleakest laments inspired in Scripture is Ps 88 which ends, ‘You have taken my companions and loved ones from me; the darkness is my closest friend.’ Man that’s deep. And real.
But thankfully that’s not all the Bible has to say on the subject of grief and loss. It’s wonderfully comforting to His followers that Jesus is recorded as weeping on various occasions like with Mary and Martha at the grave of their brother or on seeing Jerusalem, knowing the consequences for a city and its children who reject their Messiah.
It’s ok to shed tears. It’s ok to care.
And Jesus said, ‘Blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted’.
‘Blessed are those who mourn’ sounds strange at first, almost like, ‘You should be happy when you’re sad’! Huh? Who wants to be sad?
And yet grief is a logical part of realism. We live for now in a broken world where unpleasant things happen and tragedy abounds. We can’t expect to avoid it and shouldn’t try to turn from it. Jesus reached out constantly to help and encourage, heal and deliver those suffering the sorrows of this world. The New Testament writers clearly cared deeply for each other.
A necessary part of the journey of faith is realising we are part of the problem. Because human beings choose to disobey our Maker we suffer the consequences of a world under judgement. And it hurts!
The ‘good news’ of Jesus is that He came to deal with that at the cross. He carried our ‘sins and griefs’ and because He did those who turn and trust Him can experience forgiveness and the beginning of the healing.
And so the Apostle Paul, writing to bereaved Christians in Thessalonika can say, ‘We Christians don’t grieve as those without hope. We look forward to being united with our risen Lord and ‘departed’ fellow believers when Christ returns to gather and judge’ (my paraphrase). We still grieve naturally but we are comforted with this very specific hope. Our loss is temporary and the story isn’t over.
In that coming age the Book of Revelation promises God will ‘make all things new’ and then get this: ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.’
I don’t mind crying, for now, because better times are coming. Jesus says we’ll be comforted and I believe Him. The best is yet to be.
I don’t mind. I think its natural, even healthy on occasions.
Tears are an overflow of emotion and emotions are an indication we’re still alive so that’s a positive start. As infants we wail when a favourite toy is lost or broken, a young person blinks back tears if they fail their driving test, an adult when they’re made redundant.
Emotions can be very mixed and very powerful. We shed tears of joy when our team wins a trophy, tears of pride at our child’s graduation, tears of pain when someone we trusted hurts us deeply, tears of sorrow when we have to say goodbye to someone we love. Maybe a relationship gets tense or breaks up, maybe someone moves far away, maybe a friend or family member passes away.
But here’s a thing. It only hurts because we’ve been blessed with hearts that care, that long for and appreciate love. Our lives have been enriched. We’ve known something good. Our eyes brim over with happiness when we realise we are loved and again in grief when we lose someone precious.
It breaks our hearts to say goodbye but only because those same hearts are filled with wonderful memories of good times shared. An elderly person lays their partner to rest, remembering days a lifetime ago when they walked the beach hand in hand, bought their first home or celebrated their first child. They are grateful for a lifetime together, keeping their covenant promise ‘for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health…’
One of the bleakest laments inspired in Scripture is Ps 88 which ends, ‘You have taken my companions and loved ones from me; the darkness is my closest friend.’ Man that’s deep. And real.
But thankfully that’s not all the Bible has to say on the subject of grief and loss. It’s wonderfully comforting to His followers that Jesus is recorded as weeping on various occasions like with Mary and Martha at the grave of their brother or on seeing Jerusalem, knowing the consequences for a city and its children who reject their Messiah.
It’s ok to shed tears. It’s ok to care.
And Jesus said, ‘Blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted’.
‘Blessed are those who mourn’ sounds strange at first, almost like, ‘You should be happy when you’re sad’! Huh? Who wants to be sad?
And yet grief is a logical part of realism. We live for now in a broken world where unpleasant things happen and tragedy abounds. We can’t expect to avoid it and shouldn’t try to turn from it. Jesus reached out constantly to help and encourage, heal and deliver those suffering the sorrows of this world. The New Testament writers clearly cared deeply for each other.
A necessary part of the journey of faith is realising we are part of the problem. Because human beings choose to disobey our Maker we suffer the consequences of a world under judgement. And it hurts!
The ‘good news’ of Jesus is that He came to deal with that at the cross. He carried our ‘sins and griefs’ and because He did those who turn and trust Him can experience forgiveness and the beginning of the healing.
And so the Apostle Paul, writing to bereaved Christians in Thessalonika can say, ‘We Christians don’t grieve as those without hope. We look forward to being united with our risen Lord and ‘departed’ fellow believers when Christ returns to gather and judge’ (my paraphrase). We still grieve naturally but we are comforted with this very specific hope. Our loss is temporary and the story isn’t over.
In that coming age the Book of Revelation promises God will ‘make all things new’ and then get this: ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.’
I don’t mind crying, for now, because better times are coming. Jesus says we’ll be comforted and I believe Him. The best is yet to be.
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