I’m a self-confessed weeper.
I cry. It doesn’t take much to set me off and the tears flow.
It might be a loss, that’s logical, but it could equally be a happy thing, a kindness, beauty, or just a piece of music playing far away, something to open the gate and emotion comes flooding through.
Maybe it’s a childlike thing, one thing triggering a million other vulnerabilities, something beyond words, best expressed in this huge, rising sob, so intense and real.
I’m actually ok with it. For now, it fits.
It shows I’m still alive and able to feel something. I have loved and been loved. I have tried things, sometimes failing, other times getting somewhere.
Some dreams proved disappointing, others better than imagined.
I could wish certain things had worked out better. Mostly I wish I were better, better at being a son, brother, husband, dad, minister, friend, human being person. So there’s probably some guilt in there.
But thanksgiving too, for faithful, forgiving family and friends, and of course the grace of my Master on which I heavily depend. All of these and more will find me quickly choking up. I’m not necessarily sad, just feeling things.
So there’s this bit on the last two pages of the Bible I’m not sure I fully understand yet. It’s obviously meant to be positive. Christ has come again in glory and ended evil. The resurrection age is pictured as Jerusalem renewed for people of all nations. God dwells with His creation restored to harmony. I don’t doubt it will be wonderful.
But then it says God will wipe the tears from our eyes. There’ll be ‘no more death or mourning or crying or pain’. At the moment I’m just not sure I’d be able to hold it together.
No more tragedy or bereavement in those days, I get that, but will we not remember? What joy to see our Saviour and Master and thank Him for His love, but will we not regret our rather pitiful service in this life?
I do believe the Lord will take care of it all somehow. He can do resurrection after all.
Maybe the idea is that no matter how intense the emotions God’s people will find complete comfort at last.
When we were small and we dropped our lollipop or our toy got broken we wailed inconsolably and buried our faces in our mother’s arms. That helped, but slowly we were realising that life in a fallen world hurts.
The world that is coming is ‘made new’ by God, it will no longer hurt. And we shall be comforted fully and finally in His embrace.
And I think I’ll be definitely ok with that.
I cry. It doesn’t take much to set me off and the tears flow.
It might be a loss, that’s logical, but it could equally be a happy thing, a kindness, beauty, or just a piece of music playing far away, something to open the gate and emotion comes flooding through.
Maybe it’s a childlike thing, one thing triggering a million other vulnerabilities, something beyond words, best expressed in this huge, rising sob, so intense and real.
I’m actually ok with it. For now, it fits.
It shows I’m still alive and able to feel something. I have loved and been loved. I have tried things, sometimes failing, other times getting somewhere.
Some dreams proved disappointing, others better than imagined.
I could wish certain things had worked out better. Mostly I wish I were better, better at being a son, brother, husband, dad, minister, friend, human being person. So there’s probably some guilt in there.
But thanksgiving too, for faithful, forgiving family and friends, and of course the grace of my Master on which I heavily depend. All of these and more will find me quickly choking up. I’m not necessarily sad, just feeling things.
So there’s this bit on the last two pages of the Bible I’m not sure I fully understand yet. It’s obviously meant to be positive. Christ has come again in glory and ended evil. The resurrection age is pictured as Jerusalem renewed for people of all nations. God dwells with His creation restored to harmony. I don’t doubt it will be wonderful.
But then it says God will wipe the tears from our eyes. There’ll be ‘no more death or mourning or crying or pain’. At the moment I’m just not sure I’d be able to hold it together.
No more tragedy or bereavement in those days, I get that, but will we not remember? What joy to see our Saviour and Master and thank Him for His love, but will we not regret our rather pitiful service in this life?
I do believe the Lord will take care of it all somehow. He can do resurrection after all.
Maybe the idea is that no matter how intense the emotions God’s people will find complete comfort at last.
When we were small and we dropped our lollipop or our toy got broken we wailed inconsolably and buried our faces in our mother’s arms. That helped, but slowly we were realising that life in a fallen world hurts.
The world that is coming is ‘made new’ by God, it will no longer hurt. And we shall be comforted fully and finally in His embrace.
And I think I’ll be definitely ok with that.
Dorothy Watson 27/2/1931 - 1/12/2022
Passed to be with her Saviour, and Dad
Passed to be with her Saviour, and Dad
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